Surviving the day
A self-management boot camp.
The Covid-19 virus has disrupted lifestyle considerably and poses a significant threat to the nation’s health and well-being.
By Phil Sizer, Lead Trainer at Pain Association Scotland
The scale of the problem is suggestive of war. Happily nobody is threatening to invade or drop bombs on us, but there is an encouraging national spirit that has been mobilised. People seem to say hello with more sincerity and there is a sense that we’re all in it together.
I recently found myself thinking about my grandmother’s pantry where she kept several years worth of tea in packets stacked on the shelves all in order with dates on. It was clearly an old habit from the war. We used to think it was very funny, but now it makes lots of sense.
People are saying ‘keep safe’, but the other suggestion is to ‘keep sane’. By ‘sane’ I mean it in the widest sense: staying calm and keeping things in proportion, keeping stress levels down and coping well.
The regime being recommended by the Government of staying at home more and withdrawing from non-essential activities is a forced change that many people are finding hard to adapt to. Spending more time at home gives far more time to reflect on problems and has the potential to create a great deal of stress, anxiety and boredom. It also means that relationships get put in a kind of pressure cooker that finds any weak points.
Ironically people with chronic pain have already had this laid on them, not by public health authorities, but rather due to the constraints placed on them by a limiting health condition. It means that they have had to work to make the most of what they have in the face of significant limitations.
A large part of the work in pain management is to find ways to adapt to change and re-order life to improve mood and manage a limiting condition. So in many ways, what you need to do to survive a day with chronic pain, is universally applicable to anyone in any situation where change and limitation are affecting people. Simply put, a lot of what you need to do for chronic pain is the same as you need for dealing with Coronavirus.
As a response to the ‘keep sane’ mantra, I have created a mind map that looks at ’surviving the day’. Or put another way it’s a diagram of the key areas to focus on so that you can improve mood and promote well-being in the face of new limitations.
You might dismiss some of it as obvious or too simple, but in stressful times the obvious and simple get forgotten and are exactly what we need to focus on. It’s also worth pointing out that rejecting ideas is a classic stress-defence mechanism in which we develop a reflex for rejecting anything that is new or challenging.
And here’s the surprise. You don’t have to enjoy any of this! Initially you will find it hard work. It’s a kind of self-management boot camp.
In a way you will need to instil some discipline in to yourself to do things that are good for you that you just don’t feel like doing. For example it’s easy to flop about in your pyjamas, but getting properly dressed will help you to feel better about yourself. Maintaining a timetable of work and rest and play is likely to be tough at first. The guilt habit makes people keep going until they drop- whereas breaking up work with proper rest and play will mean that you don’t ‘drop’.
People react to difficulties in different ways. I’ve just mentioned the work until you drop approach (this is very common in pain management), but there is also the effect of low mood that needs to be considered. In this situation someone may not ‘want’ to do anything in the diagram. But again, I need to point out that this is a kind of boot camp. If you do it you feel good but you wont feel like it in the first place. So just do it any way.
There’s a lot in this. It’s based on the idea that if you do things differently you’ll start to feel and think differently. If you just tried to change things by just thinking then nothing much would change for a long time. And if you’re the sort of person who thinks too much in the first place, then thinking even more will just ties you in more knots.
The big idea in this is just do it. Or rather do what you can, don’t worry about what you can’t. Pick out the bits that you can do now and do them.
You might find just one thing, but for most people a combination of these suggestions works best. Don’t expect too much, just find anything at all that will make even a little difference right now. And if you think about it, anything new that you try is an achievement in itself and something to feel good about. In the long run, if you stick to at least some of these suggestions it should make a difference to how you feel.
As a minimum make sure that you have one item in place from each of the categories of Body, Mood, Thinking, Structure. Ideally get the rest of the family involved and do everything…….good luck, keep safe and keep sane.
Phil Sizer April 2020